Bonk and Honk

So it was the Hilly 12 yesterday, a quirky time trial that takes in a climb over Boxhill and tot Hill at the back with a few fast and bumpy descents. Neither Simon or Stuart were able to do this so I knew I was in with a chance of a club win and I was sent off as the scratch rider in the handicap as a result. I used it as a training session by spinning over to the start for 50 minutes or so. The day before had been Little Wheezy's eighth birthday so I had spent all day on Saturday eating rubbish and I tried to compensate by having a bowl of cereal and some High5 energy drink as I made my way over. Despite the poor preparation I felt good and confident of a fast ride. From the start it's a fast, narrow and bumpy descent down Lodgebottom Road which has a high grin factor and I enjoyed overtaking a load of cyclists as I barrelled down the hill. It was a double left turn to begin the climb up the zig zag of Boxhill and straight away I didn't feel right, not having the power in my legs that I had felt the week before when training with Simon. I got into a rhythm, again overtaking quite a few people up the climb, although no one in the tt. I always hate the bit from the cafe at the top with its false flat before the descent down Headley so I worked hard across there knowing the descent was only a couple of minutes away, as my legs started to feel more and more weak. The descent was fast and fun and I hoped it would allow me to recover for the final climb up Mill Way. I had ridden it just 45 minutes before, spinning up easily but this was completely different. I was now well and truly into bonk territory with my legs completely spent and I felt truly awful over the last mile. Another unique part of this event is that the very end climb called Tot Hill is timed independently to find the club hill climb champion. As I hit the bottom I gave it everything I had but that was not very much to be honest. I wobbled over the line and felt my stomach begin to revolt and I ended up dumping my bike in the middle of the road while I puked into the bushes. I can confirm that High5 tastes EXACTlY the same coming back up as it does going down. The upshot of all this? Well, I won the Hilly 12 (beaten by most of the Kingston Wheelers but they're a different breed) and won the Phoenix hill climb by 2 seconds. And I've learnt that scotch eggs, mini Cornish pasties and pickled onions should never be used for race prep fuelling.